Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I Just Want To Feel Pretty Again

So here I am sitting here bawling, feeling defeated.

I've mentioned that dentists are one of my worst fears and I've also mentioned that I'm facing the biggest fear of my life by going to the dentist to get my top teeth fixed. They've been messed up for a while now and my self-confidence went down the drain since I've lost two of my teeth near the front.

I know people look at me differently when they see me talk. I make an effort not to smile anymore. I used to get compliments on my dimples. Now I get comments on my rotton teeth. I've tried to make light of it, I really have. I'm not a vain person by any means. I'm overweight and unfashionable. That I can deal with. What I can't deal with is looking like a year-round jack-o-lantern.

Knowing that I was going to get new top teeth was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Finally! I could talk and smile again, without KNOWING I was being looked at differently. The excitement overcame the fear.

January 7th, that was going to be the big day. The day that I could start the process of walking out feeling like I was okay with myself again. Looks like that won't be happening.

I received a call a few minutes ago from the dentist's office that my appointment needed to be rescheduled to January 28th. Three weeks later. I've already waited and waited and waited. It's not just my teeth being fixed, it's my self-confidence. Guess both will have to wait.

6 comments:

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh hun big HUGS coming your way. My husb Rick was a very bad Coke (pop) drinker and it destroyed his teeth, he has the same problem on the sides and close to the front of his top teeth. They really need to be pulled and new put in but 1) money isn't with us 2) he is afraid to even step foot into a dentist. I can never get him to smile in pictures.

Hugs darling, I'll keep praying that it comes fast!

Kamila said...

Don't worry...everything's gonna be fine...

sometimes I feel the same way about everything... I feel damn ugly... hmmm... but I want to overcome those low self-esteem... I hope you can get back yours soon enough...

bigguysmama said...

Oh you dear sweet thing! I feel terrible for how you feel. I have a couple of teeth that aren't super yellow, but I had a guy once ask me if I'd thought of whitening! So, now when I smile I'm usually pretty self conscious about it. Again, not even super noticeable, but when you KNOW someone is noticing, then it becomes huge.

Sorry you have to wait longer, but there will be success and a great way to start off the new year!

Nichol said...

I don't have the best of teeth either. My tops aren't bad, just a bit of an overbite. My bottoms though are horrible. I can't afford braces and it has caused my smile to change over the years. I see everyone with perfect teeth and wish mine were the same. Sorry you have to wait a bit longer, but in the end, once they are fixed you will get that confidence back. Big hugs to you!

Monique said...

Well that sucks. Although you were anxious and never, you were excited for the new possibilities. But the 3 weeks will go so fast...!!!

EmmysBoosAndRawrs said...

Wow you're really brave for posting this! My parents never really even talked about brushing and I basically never brushed my teeth until I was in middle school and even then I struggled to get in the habit because I had done it so rarely in the past. I also have a major mountain dew "addiction", and I had a cavity in between my 'fang' tooth and the one closer to the front once and it was really noticeable because it was really dark. I was 15 or so at the time and I only had it for maybe 2 months but it was a miserable couple of months. I had a bad dentist at the time and the filling isn't smooth against my actual tooth and it's always been a noticeably darker color than the rest of my tooth as well. I hate talking about teeth, dentist, etc it's just so embarrassing for me. So I give you credit even for talking about it on your blog. You're stronger than me :)