Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Your Mother Must Have Done Something Wrong

This is an open letter to the girl who has harassed and demeaned my daughter for some time now:

Dear Bully,

You've almost succeeded.  My daughter is almost broke down, almost defeated.  She's got that look in her eyes and the tears on her face.  She's exhausted and close to her breaking point. 

She's remained strong up until now, either ignoring the texts and calls or asking them to stop.  But today you almost got to her.  You told her that her mom must have done something wrong.  That made her snap.  She's a lot like me in that respect.  Say what you want about me.  I can let it roll off my shoulders.  Say what you want about my family and you've hit a nerve.  Same with my girl.  We're very protective people, my family. 

As her mother, I can tell you that I'm not offended that you brought me in on the conversation.  I've been called and accused of a lot worse.  What I'm offended by is that you hit on the one thing that almost defeated my daughter.

You see, all you have to do is ask me.  I can tell you that, as her mother, I never did anything wrong by giving her life.  Of course, I don't claim to be a perfect parent.  But I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong by bringing my child into this world.  It was one of the most right things I've ever done.

I won't even play naive and say that my daughter is perfect.  She's given me grief from time to time.  But the horrible things you say about her are demeaning and bullying.  My daughter goes to school, gets As and Bs, holds down two jobs, is in two after-school clubs, and is in a committed relationship.  That's a lot on her plate.  Sometimes I think she takes on too much and it wears her down.  I have to remind her to slow down and take a breather.  Tell me, darling bully, what is it that you do?  Anything other than purposefully hurt others?

With all that she already does and deals with, this was the icing on the cake.  Rarely have I seen her so mentally dejected.  But this mom who must have done something wrong did something right today.  I listened to her.  I told her to hold her head high.  I applauded her for going to the school officer about it.  I hugged her.  And it is my hope that by doing those things, I did something right.

The Mother Who Did Something Wrong


Heidi Jane Blankets said...

Have you called the cops, the real ones? Sending texts and things in a harassing matter should definitely not be ignored. I think you should do that right now. I hate this bullying thing. When I was in school, these facebooks and myspaces weren't out yet! I was bullied much in Middle School. I worry about it with my girls, or them becoming the bullies (especially my free spirited and very much independent 4 year old). But with all these teen suicides happening these days, we need to put a stop to this. I worry for your poor daughter. I will be thinking about her. Hope things go well for her. Bullying mostly comes from someone who is insecure with themselves, someone who is jealous of the bullied, or someone who themselves were not raised properly. Your daughter sounds like a great young lady. Doing great in school is the most important. This girl will go away completely after high school. Maybe you should just get on the bus and smack that bully, like that other mom ;)

Marlene said...

BOO to bullies!!! I really hope this isn't escalating behavior. Bullying, especially that done by teenage girls to other teenage girls can be terrifying. I applaud you for standing by your daughter, and calling out the coward for who she is....I hope she sees this.

Nicole said...

How sad that our children are growing up in a time where so many children lack class, respect and compassion. I'm sorry your daughter has to be subjected to such attitudes... wonder where that other girl's mother is.

At least YOUR daughter has a mom who has taught her strength. Good for you.

Tree said...

Very well written! Bullying is very rarely tolerated in our schools these days. I know most of the schools here now have a no-bullying policy, and WILL involve the police if necessary. Sounds like you've raised your daughter to be a good person. We don't live in the best neighborhood unfortunately, but our kids know that we are NOT like alot of the parents around us.. most could care less what their kids are doing. You stick to your guns, and keep showing your kids the right way to behave, and they will grow up to be successful. That other girl definitely needs to be dealt with though.

Xenia said...

First of all, thanks for stopping by our UBP to say hi, Terra.

Second of all, this post just made me so freaking angry! All of the previous commentors summed up what I was going to say, but good for you for being such a great mom and for helping your daughter through all of this. Obviously in the future she will prove this bully wrong by succeeding in life and continuing to turn into such a wonderful young woman... whereas the bully will most likely amount to nothing much if she doesn't take a long look at herself and her insecurities.

You just keep being there for her and I really hope that the situation improves soon!