Saturday, January 5, 2013

Things To Do (Or Not) When Calling 9-1-1

I've worked as a 911 Dispatcher for over eight years.  I've heard it all - crazy, insane, and mundane.  Everything from a son who's found his father dead in the garage to a guy who had his junk super glued to his leg.  I can't speak for every agency out there but here's a few general insights for the public, in the hopes you can help ME help You.

1.  "Get here now!" - I'm sorry, but we're fresh out of funds for magic carpets.  If you would've called ten minutes earlier, we'd be there now.  However, since you've just called please allow the proper agencies a few minutes to arrive on scene.  We don't have teleporters on hand.

2.  "The electricity is turned off." - You wouldn't call the cable company to get your water turned back on so please make the same assumption about calling 911 when you have no power.  We're not Staples and don't have an Easy button under our desks that we can push to magically illuminate your home.

3.  "My cat is stuck in a tree." - Cats are pretty agile creatures and will come down if they get hungry enough. 

4.  "I don't know.  Just send them." - You're calling me.  There's got to be a reason.  I don't ask all sort of questions because I'm nosey.  I ask because I have to inform the responding agencies what they're getting themselves into. 

Also, there's more than one John in town and I never did master the art of finding a needle in a haystack.  It's mighty helpful when you can give what details you know.  Again, help me help you.

5.  "What, I can't hear you." - Please, if you're at a bar and call in a fight, step away from the jukebox.  My phone doesn't have a filter and your voice always competes with the music.

6.  "I pay your taxes." - I pay my taxes too.

7.  "You're a fu**ing b**ch."  - I'm already aware of that, thank you.  I don't need someone else to reiterate.  (I'm called that on a daily and it's not for any lack of concern on my part.  It's because people need someone to vent on and I'm the first one in emergency services they're talking to.  I'm the whooping board.)

I love my job, I really do.  Wouldn't trade it for the world (unless I was asked to be Johnny Depp's pool girl).  Everybody has their gripes and these are a few of mine. 

Oh, and one more thing, don't be afraid to call 911 if you have an emergency.  That's what we're here for.

I received no compensation or product for this post.  The opinions within this post are of my own.  Yours may differ and other agencies may have their own way of doing things. 


Masshole Mommy said...

Oh wow - I really had no idea how dumb some people were. I've called 911 a few times, but try not to unless I REALLY need them.

Gina @ Hott Books said...

Thanks for that! It was a fun read ;)

Gina @ Hott Books said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wednesday Stanley said...

Oh this made me giggle because I can only imagine the things you've heard. And probably most of them are not so light and giggle worthy. I especially liked #4!!!!

My Journey With Candida said...

I would be one of those crazy, crying,, insane ones that you would want to come and kick my butt!!

Lisa R said...

I can't believe people call for their power being turned off. I can see if someones power was turned off and they were on some electronic system for their health and it failed and the person needed an ambulance, lol but then it wouldn't be about the power anymore would it?

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