Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Workouts May Be The Death of Me But I'm Ready For Battle

Never mind the unkempt hair and sans makeup.  This is me yesterday, at 194.9 pounds.  Pretty embarrassing.  It's time I take accountability for myself, and what better way to do so than post an atrocious pic of myself on my blog.

At no point past the age of 13 have I been skinny.  My body battles more with me in the winter than any other season.  I'm like a sloth in the cold months, alternating between eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping.  And watching a few episodes of TV.  My idea of exercise is running the vacuum throughout the house.  During camping season (April 1 to November 1) I'm a little more active because I'm outside quite a bit, doing more things.  Still yet, my weight is pretty unideal.

(photo courtesy of Legacy Martial Arts)

Deciding to no longer be tubbies, my hubby and I enrolled in mixed martial arts and fitness classes at the local martial arts academy.  Two days a week is mixed martial arts and two days a week is fitness.  We started Monday.  The first ten minutes in, I wanted to quit.  No joke.

Monday I learned that I don't like to run unless I'm being chased.  I also learned where the nearest exit was, because I was ready to high bolt it out of there.  I'm in a class where only four out of thirty people have muffin tops.  The rest have abs of steel and six-packs.  I was pretty sure I didn't belong.  If it wasn't for the support and patience of my husband and the positive energy of the people around me, I would've hightailed it out of there and wallowed myself in food. 

The hour-long session kicked my arse and showed me just how out of shape I am.  The realization literally smacked me in the face.  After our class, we stopped at a gas station to get fuel for the vehicle.  While Jason was pumping gas, I ran to the gas station bathroom and had a nervous breakdown.  I cried like a little girl.   I was embarrassed of how I looked against the other people and ashamed of who I was.  I felt defeated. 

Today I bucked up and attended the adult fitness class.  It was equally as hard but I was more mentally motivated.  I pressed on and carried through.  There were people of all size and stamina.  There were a couple times I would've preferred death to what I was doing but found the strength to carry on.  It was me who had to motivate my husband when class was over.  He was hurtin' for certain. 

This is already one of the hardest things me and Jason have done, and we're only two days in.  It's mentally and physically exhausting.  I've worked muscles I didn't know existed.  I am determined though.  It's time to make lifestyle changes and feel comfortable in my skin.  I will not quit!

I received no product or compensation for this post.  The opinions within this post are of my own and I was not influenced in any way.  Please do your own research before purchasing products or using services.  Your opinions and results may differ.


Rachel said...

I totally understand your nervous breakdown! You can read all about my latest at http://wifethenmama.blogspot.com/2013/01/rachels-church-fail.html

I can't handle classes. I am not overweight but I am EXTREMELY out of shape and uncoordinated, so I can't keep up with anyone, even people twice my size. I have been doing Just Dance in the privacy of my living room everyday this year (all 8 days of it LOL). I know I look like an idiot, but only the kids I baby-sit can see me, and since they are tiny they don't know how bad I look. Kudos to you and your husband for making a healthy choice for yourselves. Hopefully it gets more enjoyable :)

Alexis AKA MOM said...

OH girl I'm so there with you! You are going to rock it, 4 days a week you are rocking! I'm doing kettlebell at home but I need to amp it up and do something else I'm stuck.

You keep going sweetie I can't wait to read more of your journey.

Yona Williams said...

Those are really good cardio workouts that you're tackling, and in time, you'll be doing it in your sleep. The beginning is always the hardest part of this adventure, but soon, it will start to be fun (especially when the results start kicking in). Sharing your triumphs, reservations and adventures is good for the process. Loved reading your post because it motivated me to increase my workouts. My brother wanted a "diet partner", so I agreed to follow a wheat-free, sugar-free diet (Wheat Belly Diet) for a month, so on January 1st we started....I've been too irritable to workout on a regular basis. Good luck...and you'll notice the change in everything once the results start rolling.

Jeff Rivera said...

I understand where you are coming from, Terra! The first couple weeks of an intense workout regimen can be nothing short of torture! Although, it is great that you and your husband are taking the classes together; that lays the groundwork for support both at home and while in the class. If nothing else, at least you have another person to cheer you on, as well as being able to rejoice with you once you both start feeling better and keeping healthy.
I think that having a strong support system, as it seems like you two have for each other, is important for success because you are not alone! You will both begin to lead healthier, happier lives and you will even grow stronger, together as a couple.
Even though it may seem like an impossible feat now, it will pay off in the end and so I wish you the best of luck and perseverance!
I look forward to reading about your progress!

Jeff Rivera

Heather! said...

Yay YOU!! I feel ya, and feel FOR you. I know I would have the same feelings and difficulties tackling classes like that. Let your steely determination take you through the next couple of weeks, then the results will encourage you. I know you can do it, and you know it's worth it. And keep blogging about it! That's a great way to hold yourself accountable, as you say, and to inspire couch potatoes like me. I'm proud of you and am feeling inspired already. Imagine that!

coriwestphal said...

Truer words were never spoken! Working out is tough. Especially when you aren't in great shape. I started my fitness journey with last year's New Years resolution. In a year of tough workouts and learning how to fuel my body with good food, I've gone from 185 to about 140. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it.

The best advice I can give you is take it one day at a time. Don't come out like a freight train, because you'll quickly lose steam. And once you hit a wall, it's hard to pick yourself back up again. You want to work hard, but not to where you hate every second of it. The goal is to get to a point where you actually enjoy your workouts, and to revel in what your body CAN do, not what it can't. Enjoy this journey because there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

And kudos to you, for sharing with others. It's a big, scary step, but there are SOOOOO many people out there that are just where you are. And hopefully you'll be able to inspire others with your hard work!

Good luck to you and your hubs!!

Julie Maloney said...

Losing weight is the hardest thing in the world. No joke. It seems like it takes forever but I will tell you that once it starts to come off it will pour off if you keep it up. Once it IS off you have to KEEP it off so it's totally unending but having gone from 220 to 120 I can honestly say it's worth it (although regardless how thin I am I do always see a fat girl in me). You can do it, I'm with you all the way!

deanna said...

You can do it! It'll get easier

Kathryn Lavallee said...

Good for you, Tara! I can't wait to hear how everything goes!

Masshole Mommy said...

Good for you!! I know it's hard, but I lost nearly 100 lbs and if I can do it - anyone can!!! Keep up the good work and once you start seeing the number on the scale drop - the hard work will be worth it.

Anne - Mommy Has to Work said...

You can do it!! Keep up the good work! You are worth it!

Dianna said...

I wish you the best of luck-- It is torture as far as Im concerned--thats what happens when the age starts climbing and the body wants to stay put because there seems to be other things to do that doesn't cause pain--let us know how this is going for you-- your very brave.