Friday, March 21, 2014

How My Hubby Was Talked Into A Kirby (Then Wasn't, Then Was)

The products mentioned in this post were purchased outright by my husband.  The opinions within this post are of my own and I was not influenced in any way.  Please do your own research before purchasing products or using services.  Your opinions and results may differ.

There I was Saturday night, minding my own business. I was hanging out in the kitchen waiting for a couple of friends to come over and have supper. The menu was pork chops on the grill and stuffed mushrooms in the oven. Then the doorbell rang and threw the whole night off.

My hubby was nearest the door so he answered it. I didn't pay any mind to who it was, thinking it was the friends coming over and they could just mosey on in. I heard a female's voice and it sounded nothing like the Robert and Laura I knew. I peeked my head around the corner and saw a chick getting friendly with my puppy. I immediately recognized her as the female I shooshed away just a week ago.

In hindsight, I should've went to the living room and shooshed her away again. Instead, I waited for my husband to tell her to leave. Or so I thought!

The said female was a salesperson for Kirby vaccums. In exchange for a package of Gain laundry pods, we'd let her other salesperson in the door to vacuum and shampoo our floors. I wanted for Jason to politely turn her away. Instead, he let her go get the other guy and bring him in the house!

To say I was nettled (fancy word for angry) is an understatement. For one, I had no interest in any sort of sales presentation. For another, I was a hungry girl who just wanted to eat with her friends and kids.

The friends ended up showing up a short time later. While we all sat in the kitchen, Jason stayed in the living room listening to the spiel. At one point in time, they tried calling me in there. I went, for a total of two minutes. I still had no desire to own an expensive vacuum. And I was still hungry.

After the guy cleaned our carpets, ceiling fan, a pillow, and TV Jason came into the kitchen to talk to me. I could tell from the look on his face that he was sold. I then got the whole sales pitch from my husband how we just HAD to have a Kirby vacuum and how we could get it at such a discounted price. To top it off, my 14 yoa son was on his side (and all because it was his pillow that got cleaned). I listened to his talk, all the while masterminding how I could cover up his murder.

Being the loving wife that I am (and because I can use it as a barganing chip for something I really want), I told Jason he could have the darn vacuum if he was so sold on it. But he had to make the payments and he had to clean the house with it because I wasn't there to see what all it does.
Jason was t-h-i-i-i-i-s close to sealing the deal. Until a guy wearing a horribly gaudy suit came in to ask how the cleaner guy did. Mr. Gaudy Guy then went on to say he hopes to someday be a bigwhig in the Kirby industry and work everyone else like dogs. It was then that Jason flipped shit.

Jason made it very clear that was the wrong thing to say and that no one should be treated like peasants. Using a few expletive words, he also told the guy to get out of our house and the deal was off. I silently said a prayer, both that a fight wouldn't ensue and because I wasn't going to have to kill my husband after all.

After a few moments, the original cleaner guy came into apologize, along with YET another Kirby salesman. We listened to their song and dance and promises of even deeper discounts. They got us hook, line and sinker. We ended up buying the Kirby.

As part of the discount price, we had to take our original vacuum (which was half junk anyway) and destroy it. Being the man that he is, Jason took the vacuum out back and ran over it several times with our Jeep. There's no way of getting it back now!

My husband is still sold on the Kirby and has vacuumed more in the past few days than he ever has. I'll secretly admit I like it too. It is an indimidating contraption. I feel like I could strap all the attachments on and be ready for a part on Ghostbusters. But, dang, it sure does clean well!

Do you own a Kirby vacuum? If so, what's your opinion of the brand? Do you let salespeople sucker you often?


Alejandra said...

I absolutely LOVE my Kirby, but I HATE the sales people. Just about everything they say is a lie. Like your old vacuum, you didn't actually have to get rid of it. It took several sales pitches on different occasions to get me to buy one, and we ended up keeping the old one too. I hope your hubby had fun destroying it though, and you guys got a good price! Don't let them sucker you into buying their products. I buy my bags on Amazon, and use homemade soap to shampoo the carpet. (:

Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky said...

the kirby! their sales pitches (at least the one that i got) was pretty damn good. but all the attachments!! too much. and it's heavy as hell! but then again, this was like mid-80s so it was probably made of lead LOL

Masshole Mommy said...

They still have door to door salepeople? Around here that would never fly!

Lynn Blaylock said...

This is so funny to me because I have a Kirby and a Majestic Queen vaccum story that would be a great compliment to yours...Say what you want but men are the suckers for the vacuum pitches..Thanks for this little laugh. Have a great day!

Unknown said...

Boy did this bring up memories, of the Kirby salesman and door to door salesman, been there and done that, and also fell for one on Rainbow, amazing what and how they teach door to door salesmen, they are all trying to make a living and they made a sale on me and my hubby, and both of them vacuums are very heavy, do a good job, just a pain to drag it out and hook it up. Hey, my hubby did a lot of vacuuming with it also, helped out here with the cleaning. There is a bright spot to every story

CindyWindy2003 said...

That is the weirdest home sales people ever, first to come at meal time is just stupid, second why bring all those people, talk about a crowd, can not one person sale a vacuum, and then that comment that got your husband angry was whoa unprofessional and where the heck in the world did that guy come from. And then running over the old vacuum. WEIRD. If kirby comes to my door, I'll be sure to run them off!

Unknown said...

I am an owner of a Kirby. I hate it! Once you get about 3 inches of dirt in the bag, the darn thing stops collecting more. I have called Kirby several times over the yrs and they have yet to come out and look at it. Today, it has its home in the shed, never to be used again! This vac was way over priced and the ole Dirt Devil that I had at the time I purchased the Kirby was much better and easier to use. I will never own another Kirby product.

An Apel a Day said...

We to have had a vacuum sales person at our door. They cleaned a lot. I turned them away. We have wood floors, and leather couch so really the only things I vacuum are the chair, loveseat, and mattresses.

We had a window guy to. I did get new windows, but wished I would have been able to shop around a bit first.

Unknown said...

I'm still holding out for my dream Dyson. I'd let them in my house anytime of the day or night!

mail4rosey said...

We live in the country, with no sidewalks and still get salesman at the door. I shoosh them off in an instant.

Hubby's a good shoosher too but the other day a guy gave him a sample of Febreeze and went back to his car to get whatever he was getting. Hubby put the Febreeze on the table and went back to the door when the kid knocked. He shooshed the kid away, but not before the kid said, 'Well can I have my Febreeze back?' I was rolling!!

Heather B said...

OMG I laughed SO hard reading this. Just a few weeks ago we got a call that my husbands niece had given us a $100 gift certificate for a rug cleaning. Hubby told me he wasn't doing it blah blah blah... Fast Forward to 2 weeks ago. I am going to pick up my oldest son, what was supposed to be a 1 hour trip is now going to be a 4 hour trip , so I call home to let hubby know. He informs me that he is cleaning up the livining room because the Kirby person is coming over... the same person he told me just the night before he was going to ignore or not be home so he didn't have to deal with. I knew INSTANTLY what was going to happen and sure enough I came home to a shiny new Kirby sitting in my living room. I have to say personally I don't care for it. I have a Dyson and LOVE my dyson. I have fibromyalgia and a herniated disc in my back, the kirby is just too heavy, too loud, too many steps and attachments. I told him it was all his I will stick with my Dyson!