Friday, November 21, 2014

I Am NOT Okay With Having A Snake In My House!

I'm not necessarily scared of snakes.  They're okay in the wild, or even in a zoo.  They're not okay in my house.
 
Yesterday I was putting away groceries when I walked into my living room and noticed a long thing on my floor.  Thinking it was a dog toy, I almost picked it up to put it away.  Upon further inspection, I noticed it was a snake.  I immediately went into cardiac arrest!
 
What in the Sam Hill was a snake doing thinking it could come in my home and take lay of the land?!  I immediately called my husband at work, thinking he'd answer and run home to become the Knight in Shining Armor.  I was wrong.
 
After flipping a lid, I came up with a game plan.  I grabbed my camera to take pics of the hideous creature, then went for the snow shovel.  I tried several times to coax the snake out of the hiding place it retreated to but got nowhere.  My mother, whose vision trumps that of the Three Blind Mice, offered to grab the snake and throw it out the door.  But, my luck, she couldn't see the darn thing.  What do you mean, mom, that you can't see a two foot snake criss crossing back and forth in my living room?!
 
So, I did what any normal human being would do.  I grabbed a bottle of Axe body spray and aimed full fumes at the snake.  For a fleeting second, I thought that would make the snake freeze up or go blind long enough for me to get it out of my darn house.  No such luck.
 
I finally gave up and just waited it out, for my husband to come home.  After forever and a day, Jason was able to wrangle the snake and throw it back outside.  Operation Eviction complete!

The lesson learned is that I'm freakin' scared of snakes if they're anywhere in my living quarters.  Axe body spray does not deter snakes is another lesson learned.  That darn thing better not of brought any of his friends over for a retreat.  He better be the first and last snake I'll ever find in my house.  Next time, I'm just packing up and moving.  He can have the place.
 
Have you ever encountered a snake in your home?  Am I just a big wuss or would you have stroked out too?

6 comments:

Masshole Mommy said...

We had one in our basement a couple of years ago. It came in through the bulkhead and we killed the snot of out it LOL.

Debby Chandler said...

No, No, and No. I'm terribly afraid of snakes!

alissa apel said...

I've never had one in my house. I actually like them. I'm odd like that.

VickeC said...

I would have died,,I found one in our basement one time and my son killed it,,I never went down there again,,I hate snakes and would got thru and make sure every crack was filled,,it came in somewhere

Renee said...

I'm not terribly scared of snakes, but having one "unannounced" in my house would send me into fits, too. Although I would NOT spray it with Axe. I can't imagine how awful that tasted haha! Glad your early Thanksgiving guest has been sent on his merry way. Glad you didn't kill it, too. They are creepy, but they are good at catching mice and other pests.

Theresa Mahoney said...

I would have peed myself. Then I would have packed what I could and moved the heck out. Seriously. I wouldn't be able to sleep if that happened. I'd constantly be wondering when one would be crawling up my pj's or something!