I'm not necessarily scared of snakes. They're okay in the wild, or even in a zoo. They're not okay in my house.
Yesterday I was putting away groceries when I walked into my living room and noticed a long thing on my floor. Thinking it was a dog toy, I almost picked it up to put it away. Upon further inspection, I noticed it was a snake. I immediately went into cardiac arrest!
What in the Sam Hill was a snake doing thinking it could come in my home and take lay of the land?! I immediately called my husband at work, thinking he'd answer and run home to become the Knight in Shining Armor. I was wrong.
After flipping a lid, I came up with a game plan. I grabbed my camera to take pics of the hideous creature, then went for the snow shovel. I tried several times to coax the snake out of the hiding place it retreated to but got nowhere. My mother, whose vision trumps that of the Three Blind Mice, offered to grab the snake and throw it out the door. But, my luck, she couldn't see the darn thing. What do you mean, mom, that you can't see a two foot snake criss crossing back and forth in my living room?!
So, I did what any normal human being would do. I grabbed a bottle of Axe body spray and aimed full fumes at the snake. For a fleeting second, I thought that would make the snake freeze up or go blind long enough for me to get it out of my darn house. No such luck.
I finally gave up and just waited it out, for my husband to come home. After forever and a day, Jason was able to wrangle the snake and throw it back outside. Operation Eviction complete!
The lesson learned is that I'm freakin' scared of snakes if they're anywhere in my living quarters. Axe body spray does not deter snakes is another lesson learned. That darn thing better not of brought any of his friends over for a retreat. He better be the first and last snake I'll ever find in my house. Next time, I'm just packing up and moving. He can have the place.
Have you ever encountered a snake in your home? Am I just a big wuss or would you have stroked out too?