Thursday, March 24, 2016

Do You Find It Difficult To Ask For Help?

I've learned within the last year and a half that it's okay to ask for help.  Seriously, hear me out.

With my mom living with me and her being in and out of the hospital more times than I care to count, it can get stressful.  I thought I had to go it alone.  I thought I'd be considered weak if I asked for help.  I'm Super Woman; I can do it all.

My husband, bless his ever lovin' heart, has always been a tremendous help.  And so have our kids.  But I still felt it a burden that they had to bear the brunt with me. 

It wasn't until not too long ago that I learned people (well most people anyway) were more than willing to help out.  And I didn't learn that lesson on my own.

My husband took note that I was bearing a lot of stress and during one particular time of mom being in the hospital, he immediately text our Small Group and asked them to come pray.  They dropped what they were doing and came up.  No questions asked.  There was another instance where one gal heard I was having a meltdown over some news at the hospital and she left her dinner at Applebee's to come up and comfort me. 

I still find it difficult to ask for help, but it's come easier to me.  The worst anyone can say is no. 

On the flip side, I've also learned that these particular words are mostly moot:  "If you ever need anything, just let me know."  It's only because of my husband that friends and people of the church have come to my aid.  I've been too prideful to take them up on their offer. 

Don't be the person to echo those words.  Make them in to existence.  If you really, truly want to help be the person that does it.  If someone is going through a tough time or needs consoling, check up on them or take them out to eat.  Don't wait on them to come to you.  Because, most likely, they'll be prideful like I was. 

In summary, the two takeaways I've learned are that it's okay to ask for help and that I will be the person who helps a person out without prompting.

Do you find it difficult to ask for help?


Samantha said...

That's so awesome they have helped you! Especially at a time when it feels like so many people are hurting each other.
Big hugs to you xxoo

Renee said...

It is difficult to ask for help sometimes--makes me feel needy and "weak" but sometimes I just have to do it or go crazy trying to do everything alone! I think I learned this after my second child was born. You are blessed to have such a fine support system behind you.

Sue Hull said...

As of oct 2014 I wasnt able to drive anymore.I was in a starbucks drive thru and the woman in front of me started going so I did to.She puts on her brakes and as I went to put my brakes on I couldnt feel them so I rear ended her.Its hard for me to ask for help and depend on other people because I was very independent.Losing that was just depressing but then I just learned a new normal.My sister and my daughter drive me to apps and the store.I still dont like asking for help.I still feel like a burden sometimes.

Adaptable Kay said...

Oh yes, I have major difficulties asking for help most of the time. Because I have to rely heavily on people anyway due to my chronic illness, I already feel that I'm a burden and don't want to overdo things so I just try to quietly do something myself. I, too, am slowly learning family and friends are there to help and they really don't mind.

I just have to keep reminding myself of that and to not feel so guilty all the time when I need help!

Barb said...

I never had to ask for too much help in the past. Now that I'm 60 though it seems I do have to ask more and more for help with simple everyday things. It is hard.

Jerry Marquardt said...

It isn't so easy, but knowing you're not alone makes a big difference when it comes to asking for help.

Amy @ Getz Girl on Fire said...

What you say is so true . . . it's hard to be humble and ask for help. But conversely, there are folks (like me) that love to be the knight in shining armor and are happy to help! I try to do things without being asked, but this is a good reminder to spread some "light" in the world!