Thursday, June 15, 2017

Tips On How To Comfort Those Dealing With Loss

I've been through my fair share of deaths.  It's something we're all going to be faced with someday.  We're going to die and we're going to deal with the loss of others.  The most recent for me was my mother last April.  Of all the losses, hers was the worst.

I'm no professional but I think I can safely say I know of things you should and should not do when trying to comfort those dealing with loss.  Here's my list:

1.  Try to be personable - If anything, send a card.  If you think greeting cards are expensive (and they can be!) Dollar Stores have them cheap.  It's okay to express your sentiments on Facebook but a card or call is more personable.

2.  Make sure family knows first - I can't tell you the number of times I've seen someone post about a death on Facebook before the family knows first.  No, no, and no.  Don't do it!

3.  Don't wait to help - People have good intentions and say "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you."  Nine times out of then, they're not going to.  People have pride issues, and they're too busy dealing with other issues.  Step up and do something without being asked.

4.  Don't be afraid to talk about the deceased. - Rather than avoid the issue or the person who is grieving, talk to them.  Tell about memories and stories of the deceased person.  Sometimes people don't know what to say, but saying something is better than saying nothing.

5.  Let the person grieving talk. - It takes time to get over a loss.  Let the person who is grieving feel that it's okay to talk about it.  Even a year later, I still miss my mom like nobody's business.  I want to feel that it's okay to talk about her.

6.  Don't have a solution. - Sometimes, a grieving person just wants to vent or break down.  Let them.  Don't try to tell them that it will be okay or give them blanket answers.  Just let them cry on your shoulder.  Sometimes shedding a few  tears is all it takes to get things better again.

Do you have any tips to add?

2 comments:

alissa apel said...

My nephew has been in and out of the hospital so much this winter/spring. He's already exceeded his life expectancy. I got my sister an angel necklace for the hard times. No she's not going through a death, but difficult times for sure.

Sue Hull said...

I say just being there living them even if the person just wants to be left alone.My aunt passed away in 2015 and it devastated my cousin.Actually it devastated the whole family.I pray for my cousin daily.Her mom was her best friend.She's an only child. I pray she becomes a believer.I know if she bielved in God she wouldn't feel so alone.