I took this picture right after the tech left the room. Told Shelby I'd send it to her. Pretty sure I won't be doing that now.
Technically, I'm already a grandma. I have two granddaughters, 13 yoa and 4 yoa, via marriage. I love them wholeheartedly. But, when I found out my daughter is pregnant, I was over the moon. I was going to finally see one of my kids go through the natural progression of pregnancy and was excited to be a part of it.
Shelby called me on February 16th to give the news. She asked if I wanted to go with her to the first ultrasound that following Friday. No hesitation, I said yes! The ultrasound tech first took images from the abdomen, then chose to further the exam internally through the vagina. The tech never did show the screen to Shelby. I was nosy and jumped my happy butt up next to the tech so I could see the screen. I saw the little dot that was to be the baby and tears started welling in my eyes when the tech confirmed that I was right. I got to see my grandbaby! It became real. Like really real.
We waited a few minutes in the room while the doctor looked over the sonogram pictures. She then called us in to her office. It's funny how something can be so exciting one minute and devastating the next. The dr. told us the baby was measuring at 9 weeks, but there was no heartbeat. I'd like to say I stayed strong for Shelby but I wasn't. I cried and cried right along with her. I know people who've miscarried but it became super personal for me at that point. I felt the anguish, grief, anger, and sadness. I cried for the baby that wouldn't be and for Shelby (my baby) who was going through such a traumatic experience.
The dr. was beyond fantastic with her calming words and explaining what was to come. She talked to Shelby about the whole process of actually miscarrying and said it would probably happen over the weekend.
The weekend came and went. Nothing happened. We went back to the dr. this past Monday and it's all a standstill right now. Shelby's HCG (pregnancy hormone levels) had doubled within the last few days and she still hadn't expelled the baby from her body. It boils down to one of two things: 1. The miscarriage is taking longer than usual and it should happen soon. 2. The baby is actually viable and the first ultrasound was read wrong. I would be over the moon if that was the case. I'm praying and hesitantly hoping. We find out on Monday, when another ultrasound will be done. I think waiting is the worst. Is my daughter pregnant with a baby that she's waiting to miscarry at any moment or does she get to be a mommy.
Like I said, this is the first time I've been so up close and personal with someone who may miscarry. I have a few questions that maybe you guys can answer:
1. If you've had a miscarriage and knew it was going to happen, how long was it from the start of finding out to the actual process?
2. Have you experienced higher-than-normal levels of HCG? If so, what was the reason (other than viable pregnancy)?
3. Do you know anyone who's had their ultrasound read wrong and the results came back different one time to the next?
4. Please pray for my girl. As her mother, my heart breaks for her, and for the baby that might not be.