Thursday, February 27, 2020

I Might Become A Grandma...But Maybe Not

I took this picture right after the tech left the room.  Told Shelby I'd send it to her.  Pretty sure I won't be doing that now.

Technically, I'm already a grandma.  I have two granddaughters, 13 yoa and 4 yoa, via marriage.  I love them wholeheartedly.  But, when I found out my daughter is pregnant, I was over the moon.  I was going to finally see one of my kids go through the natural progression of pregnancy and was excited to be a part of it.

Shelby called me on February 16th to give the news.  She asked if I wanted to go with her to the first ultrasound that following Friday.  No hesitation, I said yes!  The ultrasound tech first took images from the abdomen, then chose to further the exam internally through the vagina.  The tech never did show the screen to Shelby.  I was nosy and jumped my happy butt up next to the tech so I could see the screen.  I saw the little dot that was to be the baby and tears started welling in my eyes when the tech confirmed that I was right.  I got to see my grandbaby!  It became real.  Like really real.

We waited a few minutes in the room while the doctor looked over the sonogram pictures.  She then called us in to her office.  It's funny how something can be so exciting one minute and devastating the next.  The dr. told us the baby was measuring at 9 weeks, but there was no heartbeat.  I'd like to say I stayed strong for Shelby but I wasn't.  I cried and cried right along with her.  I know people who've miscarried but it became super personal for me at that point.  I felt the anguish, grief, anger, and sadness.  I cried for the baby that wouldn't be and for Shelby (my baby) who was going through such a traumatic experience. 

The dr. was beyond fantastic with her calming words and explaining what was to come.  She talked to Shelby about the whole process of actually miscarrying and said it would probably happen over the weekend. 

The weekend came and went.  Nothing happened.  We went back to the dr. this past Monday and it's all a standstill right now.  Shelby's HCG (pregnancy hormone levels) had doubled within the last few days and she still hadn't expelled the baby from her body.  It boils down to one of two things: 1. The miscarriage is taking longer than usual and it should happen soon.  2.  The baby is actually viable and the first ultrasound was read wrong.  I would be over the moon if that was the case.  I'm praying and hesitantly hoping.  We find out on Monday, when another ultrasound will be done.  I think waiting is the worst.  Is my daughter pregnant with a baby that she's waiting to miscarry at any moment or does she get to be a mommy. 

Photo by Nynne Schrøder on Unsplash

Like I said, this is the first time I've been so up close and personal with someone who may miscarry.  I have a few questions that maybe you guys can answer:

1.  If you've had a miscarriage and knew it was going to happen, how long was it from the start of finding out to the actual process?

2.  Have you experienced higher-than-normal levels of HCG?  If so, what was the reason (other than viable pregnancy)?

3.  Do you know anyone who's had their ultrasound read wrong and the results came back different one time to the next?

4.  Please pray for my girl.  As her mother, my heart breaks for her, and for the baby that might not be.

8 comments:

Jackie said...

Sending prayers to all that you get good news on Monday. Waiting has to be the hardest part...

Renee said...

Wow--praying for your family. I have no experience with this, so no words of wisdom, but I hope you guys get some happy news next week!

Theresa Mahoney said...

Praying for your baby girl and grand baby. I'm going to keep the faith that the machine was faulty. Even going in for a pelvic exam today, the machine couldn't find my left Fallopian tube, so I can see where it could miss a little heartbeat. I'll be keeping you all in my prayers until you get answers.

Cathy Kennedy said...

Terra,

I will certainly keep your daughter in prayer. I miscarried our third baby around 10 weeks. I can't remember the day I got the news but it did take a few days before I actually lost the baby. It's heart wrenching for sure. Everything is in God's hands. Trust whatever happens happens for a reason. I know it was in my case because soon after I miscarried I learned I need to have surgery to remove yet again ovarian cysts. This might have even contributed to the reason I lost my baby to start with but I don't know that for sure. Little more than a year later I was pregnant again with our son and everything went well. I believe that's the way it was meant to happen. He was our last child, too. I finally had to have a hysterectomy in 2001. By that time I welcomed to end the whole female problems I've had since the age of 16 at which time the doctor told me I'd probably never had children. God had other plans apparently. :) Sending hugs and love to y'all!

Jenny Evans said...

I've had a missed miscarriage before, but I can't remember how much time passed between the ultrasound and when I started bleeding. What I do remember was being alone at that particular ultrasound and it was the worst. Whatever happens, your daughter was so lucky to have you there.

Nancy Payette said...

Wow, what an experience. Miscarriages are hard. Lost one in between my kids. Hope your dreams come true soon. :)

Angela Saver said...

I’m praying for you, your daughter and grand baby. Please keep us posted.

Unknown said...

The doc will eventually tell you to get a DNC or wait it out. The only problem with that is waiting it out can lead to things you don't expect. I had twins, I lost one and then hemorrhaged with the other 4 days later. The doctors thought I had a simple miscarriage. If she decides to expel it naturally make sure someone is always with her, she will most likely bleed lightly that is normal before a miscarriage. I pray its viable, sending love and prayers to you and your daughter. x