Saturday, February 8, 2014

A Kid and A Cat Bringin' the Stress Back

On my way to work a few nights ago, I received a text from my oldest daughter, Shelby. In a nutshell, she proclaimed that she broke up with her boyfriend and was moving back home. I had no time to prepare, but couldn't have been happier that she came to her senses. He was no good for her or to her.

Shelby's been away from home for sixteen months. That's given me plenty of time to take her old room and make it mine. Shelby's old room is now a catch-all that includes a bed, treadmill, a hundred million RC car parts, dirty laundry, and Christmas paper that still needs put away. In other words, absolutely no room for all her stuff. And let me tell ya, she's got a lot of stuff. And a cat.

I'm not a neat freak by any means but house clutter makes my brain take a detour onto Stress Avenue. My head's spinning, trying to figure out where to put everything. I don't even know where to begin. And neither does Shelby.

Added to the mix is Pumpkin, Shelby's male cat. Not normally a problem...unless you have a female pup. And I do. The pup wants to play. The cat DOES NOT.

Shelby attends a community college and holds down two part-time jobs. She's super smart and a hard worker (got it from her momma!) She lived with the boyfriend for sixteen months and I secretly jumped for joy when she broke up with him. I've never been fond of the guy and have a whole slew of words for him, none of them being good. I'm stoked that she finally came to her senses and dumped him.

As it is, we've already run into sort of a dilemma. Ya see, Shelby has a world of smarts. Except when it comes to boys. No sooner than she moved back was she spending the night at a boy friend's (not boyfriend's) house. She swears she just stayed on the couch. She'll be 20 years old in April and I keep my mind out of her matters (for the most part). Where she goes and who she does is her business.

Earlier tonight Shelby wanted to go hang with some girl friends. Again, not my business. Where the problem lies is that my husband and I feel like our home is now a warehouse for her belongings and her feline. This is the second time we've moved Shelby back in and back then we went through the same thing. Her belongings lived at my house, but she did not.

Jason and I had a talk with Shelby when she got home tonight and told her she'd have to start paying $100 a month for us to store her stuff. She immediately became defensive. As much as I love the girl, one of her weaknesses is flowing waterworks and stress over the littlest things. Our whole reasoning behind charging her has nothing to do with the money. It has to do with the fact that we have to again rearrange the house to accommodate her belongings and her cat.

So here is where my dilemma lies:

1. Do I stick by what I told Shelby and charge $100 a month for her to be living in our home? She does her laundry and take showers there. Other than that, she's either at work or at school or spending the night elsewhere.
2. Do I let it slide and just be happy that she left the jerk she used to call a boyfriend?

This isn't a post to bash on Shelby. She rarely gives me grief and is super focused on becoming something for herself. I just feel split down the middle on how to handle this whole situation.

Seriously, I rarely have any problems out of any of my six kids so my head kinda spins when things are thrown for a loop.


Masshole Mommy said...

I paid my parents once I was 18 and I definitely think she should be paying rent. I will teach her responsibility.

Jackie said...

I think it could be good to charge the rent....would teach responsibility and $25 a week is not bad. If money is not the issue, you could take that $100 (or part of it) and put it into an envelope to give her when she is ready to get her own place. (That's what my parents' did with my sister when she moved back home).