Monday, February 13, 2017

Don't Make Your Marriage A Couch

Within the last few months I've heard of two couples getting a divorce and one couple having an affair with other married people.  It seems like marriages are disintegrating like wildfire.  WTF is going on??  I won't judge and I won't take sides.  Things happen and it takes more than that to make me not want to be there for my friends.

But, it got me thinking:  When did some people start treating their marriage like a couch?  At what point is it okay to throw in the towel?

I've been married for almost fifteen years.  I'm not gonna lie, the first ten were hard.  (That's a book in and of itself!)  We were self-absorbed and complacent.  BUT the last five years have been pretty darn good.  But only because we've worked at it.

Get the fairytale scenarios out of your head.  Marriage takes work.  It takes commitment.  It takes both sides.  Vows are more than words; They're actions.

Marriage is not a couch, people!  Like a couch that we've had around forever, we tend to get comfortable.  Or we want to trade it in for a newer, more suitable pattern.  Once the fabric gets stained, we freak out and want it removed.  We want the pillows on the couch to be placed just perfect.  Or we throw our feet up on the couch and expect it not to take the abuse.

There is nothing fun about a fight.  Finding the toilet seat up all the time can be annoying.  Moans and groans aren't what you want to hear as soon as you come home from work.  But if you start treating your marriage better than a piece of furniture, things may actually start to look up.  Don't give up on your spouse.  Instead, sit down on the couch (literally) and open up the lines of communication.  Find out each other's wants and needs.  Keep an open mind and don't get defensive.
How long have you been married?
Do you have any tips on keeping a marriage strong?


CindyWindy2003 said...

I've been divorced so I'm not sure if I'm one for advice. I do know a lot of people either getting a divorce or have had a divorce. I don't hear a lot of the we just grew apart line. Mostly one person in particular doesn't want to be married anymore, doesn't want to put in the work, be faithful, etc.

Renee said...

March will be 16 years for us. We have decided no one else will tolerate us, so we might as well stay married. Ha!