Thursday, January 24, 2019

A Love Lost, Then Brought Back Again

My mom and divorced when I was less than one year old.  That in itself never bothered me.  What hurt was that I had a very loving mother but not a very loving dad.  I felt he liked me, but didn't really love me.  

You see, he wasn't what you called a "picture perfect father".  An awesome man with a great personality, he definitely was.  However, he lacked in the fathering department.  He traveled the country and rarely made contact with me.  I cried so many times as a child and young adult wondering what I ever did that make my father not want to have that parental relationship with me.  I wanted that father, daughter bond so bad.  God felt my yearning and stepped in.

My mother raised me and she did a fine job.  My dad was a good person in general, but wasn't there for me.  He was married to another lady and they traveled the country working at KOA campgrounds.  After being married to my step-mother for over 20 years, she passed away of cancer.

About a year after my step-mother passed away, my mother asked if I would call my dad and ask him to have coffee with her.  My jaw hit the floor!  The two had barely said ten words to each other in over twenty years and all of a sudden she wanted to go on an informal date with him.
I made the call and the rest is history.  My mother and father rekindled their relationship.  They fell back in love and moved in with each other.  The relationship I never had with my dad was now becoming a part of my life.  It was only a year and a half that they were together before dad passed away but I had more of a relationship with my father in that short of time than I ever did in the almost thirty years of my life.  

He gave my children the love and affection that he didn't give me as a child.  He asked for forgiveness for not being there and I accepted his apology.  Our relationship had been mended and repaired.  We spent a lot of time together camping, listening to music, goofing off, and watching my children grow.  I learned a lot about my father and who he was.  He also learned about me.

I firmly believe God knew the ache in my heart and knew I needed my father in my life.  If even for a short time, I'm thankful for God's blessing and intervention.  Now both mom and dad are in Heaven together.


Kathy P said...

This is a reaally touching post. Thank you for sharing. I never knew my father. When I was 16 my mother told me his name and that he was a married man. After my mother died of cancer in 1989 I looked up his phone number and nervously called him. When I told him who I was he hung up on me. That was the first and last time I ever tried to get in touch with him. I guess you can't miss something you never had.

SueZH said...

That was a very touching story. Life in so complicated. I grew up with my Dad in our house but never really felt his love until he was way into his senior years. I guess life taught him how to love.

Maryann D. said...

That is amazing and I am so glad that you had that time with your dad. I have tears in my eyes.
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Tamra Phelps said...

It really is true that it's never too late until you're dead. It's likely tha your Mom knew that, since she asked you to make contact for her...and maybe for you, too.

Renee said...

I am super behind reading my emails so I just got to this post, and I'm glad I did because it is a lovely one. What a fabulous story. You just never know what life has in store, do you? Thanks for sharing.